Actually she is he

“could you do something for me?” a friend rather than best friend ask me when I dropped by her house several days ago.

“uhuh uhuh” I nodded my head twice without wanting to open my mouth. She took it as if I accept her request. Indeed it was what I meant.

“well, actually I am rather shy to tell you about this. Perhaps I can say it is one of my secrets that I need to reveal,” she started to tell me. I just kept my ears on listening to each word she said, trying to be a good listener.

Quite long she stopped her story. Took a deep breath as if she held a full bag of problems and ready to threw them away from her mind.  And she also seemed to be careful to tell it to me eventhough she regarded me as her best friend but thing she wanted to reveal was something awesome.

I could not wait more, but I had to.

she was about to begin the story then she covered her face with her two hands for a while.

“perhaps you wouldn’t believe me, or you may say I am a liar or something. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I must tell you this very moment, yes.” Finally she started it, with a bit trembling voice and she seemed to try it her best. She was not the person I knew before as I heard her voice then.

“I am so sorry that up to now I am still a liar to you. I do not dare to tell you the truth,” she continued as she looked at my eyes. I did not know why at that time I could not looked at her eyes back. I tried to avoid her eyes but my two ears still with her.

We were sitting in her room, the air was fresh with lemon and jasmine mixed fragrance. Lovely day, I thought yet it was not so lovely. Then she took a closer look at me. I was a bit surprised but I tried to handle myself.

“hey, she is your bestfriend. Why are you afraid, or what are you afraid of?” my mind questioned me to my reaction toward her action to me. It was not something that define her as a bestfriend at least not now.

“do you feel something unusual with our relationship as a friend in the same gender?” she asked, but then she continued, “I have been waiting for this moment for so long, and I do not want to deny my heart,” she sighed. “do not you see something different to me compared to the other girls as you are?” she stopped, stood up and took a glass of mineral water.

I did not even think about it as I said to myself. She seemed to be the same as me and the other girls. Or perhaps it’s because I am stupid. Several friends told me that she is not an ordinary girl and I did not think it too much. May be she is not an ordinary girl I thought in my mind and did not question it more.

Well, at that very moment she did revealed who she was and the reason she did that. I was a bit shocked and told her that it might take me sometime to accept what she asked me. I was not angry with her but I need time to think about it whether to accept her as best friend or something more.

That day, I came home with complicated mind as I said to my self, friend o friend…..

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